It’s the year 2312 and Gerry Feldman is 50,000 years in debt. A hack writer of bespoke religions for high-end clients at Catholicism, Inc., all he wants to do is eat his Holy Cookie and forget everything about the world, and his own past. Why complain? He’s got it good. He lives in the Golden Zone, where people live forever and consent to corporate domination through easy-to-make monthly payments. Not like people in the Stone Zone, with their expiration dates and terrible skin. Who wants to remember stuff like history or the Holocaust anyway, when a few moments of borrowed pleasure with the best long-legged Sexics from the Bronze Zone cost just a few hours of hard time?
But now Gerry’s friend Simon, a star evangelist on the Religion Shift, has killed himself at the office. Someone has to be the scapegoat and the boss, Winston Locks, has decided that Gerry just grew horns. Then Gerry figures out that Locks has a priority action plan to take over the world through genocide and bad customer service, leverage the Earth through deep global resource exploitation, and sell whatever remains to aliens willing to pay good time for a scrap planet. He might even throw in Mars to sweeten the deal. Gerry will have to write a great new religion to save a billion lives, including his own. For a hack job like that he might even get a bonus…
BUY THIS PLANET AND GET THE NEXT-WORLD FREE! is a work of satire that asks us how much we earn when we sell our souls… and whether free wi-fi is included.
